The
cold night of the Snake-holder
I made
sure that everyone is asleep… that nobody is around, and I take
advantage of the situation to take a walk… I need it: I need to
walk by the sea, to feel that bashing of the waves on the shore. The
sun left his place to the moon, like a lover that escapes the woman
whom heart he has broken; fooling and bluffing her; his face is joyous…
he doesn't care if she lives in an eternal night, because he lives in
the light of day, and he doesn't know and doesn't want to know about
sadness and darkness…. so it is that the lass comes out at night
and cries upon the one who took the brightness away from her… and
she runs after him, and he runs away, in an eternal circle where they
will never meet… where he'll keep tricking her forever, where she'll
never catch him… and she'll live in an eternal night …
There is nothing more than I love than being alone in the moonlight…
me and her keep company to each other…we smother each other's loneliness
reciprocally… she knows all of my secrets…she is my best friend…
The sea is our friend… his natural music accompanying our lonely
talks…
Sweet
Selene, what is love like? Does it hurt a lot? You always look lonely,
sad…pale…did love make you like that?
Do I really
enjoy being so lonely? Or do I just like to cry upon myself?
Where did I end up? Why did I end up there? Why do I keep pushing people
away from me? When did this start?
Sometimes I still feel I need Marin's warmth at night… what did
I do to our friendship?
You
sleeping?
No…
How come?
Just not tired… why don't you sleep?
I am scared
Why?
Don't know…
Bad dream?
Maybe…Marin?
Pull in here, trouble- maker!
Ah!Ah!
It was
so warm then… I could sleep at night… I can't now… I
am too cold… the sound of her voice was so beautiful and maternal…
All
the stars are already extinguished:
My love can't see
All of the waters have stopped:
My love is thirsty,
All of the lands have been burned:
My love is hungry
All of the fairy-tales…I forgot them: my love can't sleep.
Sleep, sleep, the night will end…sleep, sleep, the war will stop…
No one
will ever sing me a lullaby again… No one will kiss my forehead
at night, nobody will pass her hands through my hair to calm me down
when I have a nightmare… everything has been broken… everything
flew away… across the Ocean, where my sister has been brought…
together with her… I cannot allow anybody to love me anymore…
not until she will be back… I cannot cuddle anyone knowing that
nobody cuddles her… Who has my sister in his heart? Who has my
beautiful sister in his heart? Who has in his heart that woman who loved
her freedom… who loved her life… a woman whose name meant
" the one who brings bliss", and they changed into something
that means death… terror… fear… that wild woman who didn't
know what she was doing… a wild heart… not mean… just…
wild… just unconscious… but nobody would believe that…
nobody likes to believe that… a wild horse, that nobody has ever
managed to break… my sweet Beatrice… the terrible Geist…
I can't allow anyone to approach me… not even you, Marin…
not even you…
I wonder, sometimes if you understand why….
You have never asked me an explanation… you have never wanted to
know… you have never tried to get into a fight where I always would
try to tug you afterwards, because I couldn't express myself with words…
I called you a coward, but I know it wasn't that, I know you are not…
you can see through this mask… you know the color of my eyes, of
my soul… you never got mad at me… you would swallow all of
my insults… and just because you knew I needed to get out my anger…
I wish I could tell you that I wasn't mad at you… I was mad at
your freedom… at you having shared warm times with me while soldiers
were conspiring to incarcerate my sister…
But you know that… you are wise, understanding, and incredibly
strong… this is why I love you, this is why I hate you… because
you are pure, and I am tainted!
