Traitor's blood
"I
just thought it was a contest to choose the best Saint. I knew nothing
about the cloth... till this morning...but on the other hand...what
is the point? I don't understand you." How can you, my beloved...how
can you understand me? Nobody really can...
I have ran away from the port and found her by her house...she had heard that
too...the Sagittarius' cloth was in the hands of this rich Greek-Japanese Millionaire, and all of
the Saints had been gathered in Tokyo to fight for it and win it...like you can win a cloth in a
stupid Gladiators' competition! It takes more to get a gold cloth!
"Marin...I..." what? What am I going to say?
"Aiolia, you talk to me like I have any control on this thing! Like I am in charge...yet I
am not, and can do nothing but investigate, if it makes you feel better... All I want is for Seiya
to be all right."
What do you think? That I don't want Seiya to be all right myself? Our boy? Don't you
see we have a bond? Don't you feel it?
"Why are you talking to me like that now?" I ask only hoping that she'll throw her arms
to my neck and tell me that it's all right, that she loves me and she'll never leave me...but
nothing of the sort happens... "Because you sound like somebody betrayed you while nobody
did..." She is right... It's just that I sense trouble and I am scared something bad could
happen...I don't want anything to separate us.... That is what I should tell her, but I don't...
"I am sorry, Marin ...I just want you to know that..." Say it!
She looks at me and for a moment I picture myself taking her mask
off....I wonder what do her lips taste like... "I just want you to
know that...I am with you...you know that...whatever happens..." She
looks down...she smells so good...her hair has the same scent as the
sea... "Thanks...really...I'll be all right!" I'll kill you someday
if you don't drop this icy stance!
"No! You won't be all right! They might come after you and..."
She looks up at me again and I feel she is surprised...
"Calm down, Aiolia...I'll be fine...I know you are my friend...I just want you to know
that I am not scared...I'll take anything that comes up and I'll try to find the right exit to any
situation... that is it..." She almost sounds amused by my hasty rebuke...she places one hand
on my arm and I feel like it's burning me...how long will I be able to go on like this? Maybe I
should just avoid her forever...but I just can't! I just can't!
I take her hand instead...and I kiss it...and then I hold it...and then I kiss it again...I
feel she is writhing, as I almost run my tongue on it...she retracts it quickly... "I have to go...the
Kyoko wants to see me..." She says turning cold again, and she leaves me there...frustrated
and confused...wondering what to do....
On the way back I go passed one of the training camps. Trainees and saints look at me
with fear...that is it...it's not deference, it can't be...they just think I am the brother of a traitor,
but they won't show it because I might want to break each one of their bones in the blink of an
eye...
At the side of one of the fields, where the Pope's guards are practicing their fighting
skills, which has always made me wonder how could the Pope possibly choose such poor
fighters as guards, sits lazily on a rock the one who has been chosen as their trainer...
Her expression is bored...she knows they won't get any better...they don't have any
Cosmo...she feels this assignment almost like an insult...I wonder if she knows what has
happened...I go close to her...driven by an unknown will...of course not my own..
"Tell me again, what are we training and fighting for?" She asks me... "To do Athena's
will...I suppose..." I add with very little conviction... "Yeah...and what is this will?" She
sounds so harsh... "I guess...whatever she communicates to the Pope..."
"Hu! Funny! Because this time she has communicated that I have to kill! And I'll have
to! Unless I want to be marked as "unfaithful"..."
"Did you see the Pope?" I ask her...
"Oh NO! He came straight to my house to tell me! Of course I saw the Pope! He sent
for me this morning."
Ehh, Shaina...you are as transparent to me as a clean glass...you aren't made for
killing...still...you'll kill....
"Your "baby" is going to die. Do you know that?" she asks me spitefully trying to climb
above my mind... "I don't think so." I say to her...
"YOU"LL SEE! AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL TOO!"
My girlfriend, Shaina; no,
she is not...she'll never be...and the only thought that people see us together makes me suffer
even more...because in the end she doesn't want me! She never wanted me! Shaina...you are
so tender...so insecure...I wish I could infuse in you the consciousness that everything will
work out...that I feel it...only I am not so sure of anything anymore...
I don't know what takes me after a while...I lift her masked face and peer into those
unexpressive eyes, hoping to see that poison green again...but I see nothing...
"You ....are...hurting...me..." I am sure I feel the trembling of tears in her voice... "I
am sorry..." I let her go...
"Aiolia!" she cries while I am about to go, "You won't have an easy life either with me
around! You know why!"
I know why, Shaina...I do know...and I know you won't manage to kill me... and I
know we won't be able to love each other, because we both belong to somebody else, and we
always will...so maybe we'll be tainted together...forever....
Days have passed and news come and go and of course only 10 percent of what you
hear is truth and the rest is legend...I haven't seen Marin in a week...I haven't gotten out in a
week, actually...She is fine...I'd feel if she'd be in trouble...Camus has come to see me this
morning, "I am taking a walk along the shore; want to?" I have followed him not because I
really wanted to, but just to see if he had some real news of what was going on...
"So..." he
has started, "The Sagittarius cloth has been stolen, or at least they attempted to steal it... Only
thing I know for sure is that whoever was sent to do the job was defeated, and that after that
the cloth went lost...while the headpiece is still in the hands of the children of that Japanese
millionaire...including...Hyoga...and...Seiya.." He says it almost in a whisper...
"What do they risk?" I ask... "Well...I mean...if they pledge their services to the Pope
they risk nothing...but I feel they are rebelling...and for an unknown reason...so I have no clue
of what is going to happen...I am...confused...I don't want to have to kill my student's
pupil...it's like he is my pupil as well...but the Pope is the messenger of Athena on earth...and
Athena is our goddess...and we cannot disobey...you understand that, don't you?"
I am confused. What is all this speech aiming at? Has he been sent by the Pope to
deliver me a veiled message? Of course I am the one not to trust...because my brother was a
traitor...and now that the Sagittarius cloth's location is not a mystery anymore they are
expecting me to redeem his sacrilege...Camus...what are you trying to tell me?
I know...you are trying to tell me that I'd better watch out in case my "traitor's blood"
will call for me again? This is the way things are...there are people who are born blessed with a
good life, I wasn't...I was born stained...or I was stained by my brother's action: there is no
trust for me...there is not safeness, there is nothing...only a tarnish...
"Aiolia." Camus stops and turns to me, putting his hands on my shoulders, "I am your
friend! What I am saying is that if anything happens we both are in the same ship..." I should be
relieved...but I am not...because nothing will change what I am and where I come from...
"Thanks." It's all I can say... My world is turning upside down...Even if not yet...I already feel
it....
" Do you pledge to serve me in whatever I'll ask of you?"
"I do, my lord..."
"Well...very well..." His deep voice is satisfied...he gets up from his throne and
walks toward me...a good smell of sandalwood and citrus emanates from him...I can
take a good look at his hands from where I am kneeling down before him, and I can say
he is not old...not at all...his hair falls long on his back...somehow he is
fascinating...charming...he places a hand on my shoulder, "get up, child." and I do, still
keeping my head lowered, "It's a pity that such gracious creatures have to fight, don't
you think so?"
"I am no gracious creature, my lord...I am a warrior, and here to serve you!" I
say with deference. He laughs, "That is the spirit I want to see!" He pats my hair now...
"And what will you do...to serve me?" I am frightened by his closeness...it has got
something morbid in it... "I will kill Pegasus Seiya! The first one of the traitors!" I say
between gritted teeth that he is not able to see... "Good...very good..." he whispers
playing with a strand of my hair...It's no mystery that the Pope has a lot of young maids
around him and I believe that they aren't only here to serve him in his daily things...I
believe they have to serve him some way else...and I don't like this liberty he is using with
me...
"How come this hatred toward Seiya, Ophiuchus, if you don't mind me asking?"
He is almost teasing me... "Because.... because I'll kill anybody who betrays! That is why!
Because I'll be faithful to the goddess!"
"Ehh...women...I admire you...you always have one more drive...this fire of
showing that you are capable...equal...I adore this rush of yours to prove yourself...you
female saints...too bad something so pretty has to hide under a mask..."
He is really getting too close now, and for a moment I see his hand reaching for
my face, but a guard comes in, "Aquarius Camus" and he simply steps back, "I'll be with
him in an instant." Then he turns to me again, "Go, my child, and succeed: I trust you..."
I bow to him, "You won't regret it..." I say, and he almost giggles, "If I will I
could always have you pay back for your failure...AH! AH! AH!" I leave the room in
humiliation! Tears of anger spill out of my eyes like a stream...MEN! I HATE MEN!
Where is she? Where is Marin? Where are you when people try to abuse me? Once you
always used to be there! Then Seiya came and you forgot about me! I HATE YOU! I hate
you too!!! You abandoned me! WHY? Is it because I am dirty? Is it because I have always
tried to obey the pope? I AM DOING ATHENA' S WILL FOR GOODNESS SAKE! What
is wrong in that! Why you and Aiolia keep looking at me like at a shameful thing?
Aiolia...golden one! What am I going to do with you? I have to kill you! I should...but
how can I? I know I won't succeed...and Seiya...yes...Seiya...he has to die...because he
has seen my face...because he has seen my heart...and either you die or I die...because a
female saint will always be a woman...even if I want to smother this...I know I
won't...and then I'll kill! I'll fight! I'll rejoice in my crimes! Because they have to fear me!
And they have to die!
This has been my morning...and a new resolution has struck my mind...I am a new
Shaina...and this Shaina they'll better fear! As I walk down to the barracks one of the guards
comes toward me, "Shaina...everything fine?" I am almost crazed, but I don't want them to feel
it, "Sent for Aquila Marin, tell her that Shaina asks to train with her...
I'll be in the old Arena"
Marin...I can't wait to have you in my grip! You'll pay for leaving me alone, for raising
the one that has seen my heart, for taking the heart of the one who has seen my face. You all
have created a bond and left me out...and I won't stand it! You'll pay...I swear!
She comes right away... "They told me you wanted to see me..." Her voice melts
me...her paying attention to me...I thought she would never do it again...Marin...my role
model...my friend...I wish I could tell you what I have in...that I love you...and hearing you
saying that...that I am important to you...that you don't think I am a bad seed...but I
can't...and you won't...and then I'll fight you! I'll dominate you! I need to get out my
anger...the anger of you not opening your arms when I needed it...
"Yeah...I did...I wanted to...train...with you..." I look back at the guards and they
giggle... "I am here...then..." she says...I hate her icy stance! I hate you Marin! My blow
starts like a flash and hits her, throwing her on the ground...I am not giving her the time to get
up...My anger overwhelms and I hit where I can...where I don't see...SUFFER! SUFFER
BECAUSE YOU MADE ME SUFFER! SUFFER BECAUSE I AM TAINTED! SUFFER
BECAUSE YOU ARE PURE, AND YOU WOULD NEVER MIX YOURSELF TO A
TAINTED ONE! My blows know no mercy... "YOU HAD BETTER DEFEND
YOURSELF, MARIN! I WON'T SHOW ANY PITY!" I shout at her, "You told me it was a
training! You are out of your mind!" She yells now taking a defensive stance and avoiding some
blows, "DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D TRAIN WITH A TRAITOR? WAKE UP MARIN!
AND TRY TO DEFEND YOURSELF!" But she doesn't...
Why don't you defend yourself? Why? Why do you let me do this? Is it because you
are so above me that I am not even worth fighting against? Cursed! You cursed bitch! I'll kill
you! I'll kill you because I love you and I need you...and maybe if I kill you I won't need you
anymore! I keep hitting her...and she doesn't even try to defend herself...She is really pushing
me over the edge! My soldiers keep her and I hit her in the stomach! You will ask me to stop!
You will ask me for mercy! But you don't!!! You don't because you are too perfect! Because
maybe you know I won't kill you!
Because I love you! And because I love you I will hit harder...and harder... harder!
"STOP!" The voice at my back makes me start...how dares he?
"What is it? Are you defending traitors now? She is getting what she deserves!"
"You are just envious because her pupil beat your champion! STOP IT RIGHT
NOW!"
I grab Marin, who is almost going limp, and push her toward him, who catches her in his
arms...What if it was I the one who was being beaten up? Would you catch me too? No you
won't! Because I have been beaten up often and you never came to catch me! Not you, nor
Marin! Nor anybody! Seiya...Seiya...he took care of me once...maybe I am not that bad,
after all? Because he is pure...why should he take care of me??? Seiya...Seiya...you'll die!
I watch Aiolia saying something to Marin...asking her if she is fine...why nobody has
ever asked me if I am fine? "Be careful Aiolia! If you keep defending traitors you'll end up like
her!" Or maybe you'll end up like her anyway...or maybe you want to end up like her...to
suffer with her...because she is worth dying for, isn't she? Because she is the only one worth
dying for...because she is pure...and I am tainted....
How are you, my love...? I am here...don't fear...do you feel me near you? Do
you?
I brought her to her house and taken care of her...I knew some day this would
happen...and I knew it would happen this way.... Poison-green eyes...I wish I could ease
your pain...but I cannot ease my own pain...for this pain there is no medicine...for the
pain of being tainted...I wish I could say she loves you and she is still your friend...but
how can I? I whish I were able to read her mind...but my cosmo stops when it comes to
that...my powers say that it's not right...that it's not fair...and I cannot do it to her...
,br>
She lays on her bed...I passed my hands on her wounds... on her eyes...she fell
asleep...she told me, "Don't get mad at Shaina, please..." but I wouldn't anyway...I know
what brought her to do this... and you know it too...that is why you didn't react...I wish you'd
be so caring for me as you are for her...poison green eyes... do you see it? Don't you see
that she has always her mind set on you...her baby?
I make sure she is fine...I stare at her...for a minute I am sure my hands reach to her
face...I want to see her...NO! NO! I cannot do it!!! I can't...I take her hand in a frenzy and
kiss it...and then I kiss her neck... and I am about to go down...what am I doing?
NO...No...she doesn't want me...I have to live with that...I have to...I make sure she is all
right and run away...the sun has set...I need to go by the sea....
It's beautiful...calm...the waves bash on the shore and the moonlight is shiny....I throw
my head in the water...I have to get over this frenzy! I have to....
I decide that I'll walk for a minute...I'll be all right...Poison green eyes...poison green
eyes...why am I thinking about you? A will that seems like not my own leads me toward a
figure sitting on the sand...watching the moon...I go closer...and closer...poison green
eyes...poison green eyes...it's really you? Tell me...explain me...what is it with you? What is
your pain made of?
She is sitting there...she looks up at me...she averts her gaze... "I know what you are
thinking!" She says in a hiss... "No...no you don't..." I say gently....I sit by her... "I know
how it feels...I really do...how it feels to be ignored...rejected..."
"It's not what I mean..." She says... "She is a traitor! She betrayed me!"
"She didn't...she loves you..."
"What do you know? Can you read behind her mask? You can't! And you don't know
how it feels! You don't know how it feels to be tainted..."
"I do...I do know how it feels..."
"You are not tainted!" she says...
"I am as tainted as you are...as lonely as you are..."
"No...Aiolia...no...you don't understand...when I was little...back in Sicily...the priest
in the town I was living in said "Come with me, I'll teach you how to read and write and you
can stay with other kids..." BULLSHIT! They wanted to lock me in an orphanage...and
already at that time I said no! And you know why? Because I was tainted! As I am tainted
now! Because I was a bad seed! And this will never change! I am poison ivy! I'll never be a
rose!"
I thought she would cry...but she doesn't...she has no more tears...just like me...she
gives in to her new self... Don't! Don't, poison-green eyes...don't give in to evil and
darkness...you are no match for them...I don't know what is driving me...I am still shocked by
the happenings of this day...probably...I see my hands taking off her mask...
"So what? What do you want to prove now?" She says...
"You are not tainted...I am..." the rest is a minute...I grab her face and my lips meet
hers...she shudders as I forcedly lay her down and climb on top of her...I stare at her in the
eyes...she doesn't talk...she doesn't even look really frightened...but mostly surprised....
"Aiolia....I....don't...please..." I caress her face tracing down her features with my
finger...her expression is now almost pleading me not to harm her...I take her lips again...they
taste so good...she shudders as my tongue roams her mouth...probably it feels like a drooling
mollusk to her...I am not myself anymore...and what am I doing? I don't know...I kiss her
again and this time she gives in...I look at her again.... and caress her...
Golden one...what are you doing to me? Why I don't feel like letting you go?
It's...good...you taste good...but...no! No! I am a saint! Why am I doing this? Why are
you doing this to me? Why don't we stop it here and forget everything...I want this to be
a dream...I want to....
My will doesn't belong to me anymore...It's like my own self is prisoner in another
dimension.... And it's yelling at this frenzied body to stop it...but the body doesn't answer...I
see my arms roaming over her body...and unbuttoning her...and me....She looks at me...now
I can see fright in her eyes...in her beautiful eyes....She gives me a little smile...hoping that
maybe I am joking...but I am not...she attempts to freed herself from me...but she doesn't
scream...she doesn't ask for help... she doesn't cry...she moves her body up, but I grab her
hips...I groan with anger...I need her...I need her! It's not Marin I need...I NEED HER! I
need my crazy, angry, nasty, poison-green eyes doll....I NEED HER and I'll have her! AND
I'll have her because I AM TAINTED! And because I want her to know she is not! I am the
beast! Blame me! Blame me forever! I am the only one to blame! I attempt to take her...at least
my body does!!! It's difficult...
My hands on her hips are firm...I feel myself struggling to make her mine...she
cries...screams...suffers...I hold her wrists now...the Lion has caught the gazelle...and the girl
gives in to me, among the spurts of her blood...She doesn't cry anymore...I leave her
wrists...she stares in my eyes...I move...her face tightened in an expression of pain... "It
hurts..." She almost cries now... "Shh...." I say to her... "It will be over...the pain will be
over..." I caress her face as I start to move...
Golden one...what is this? What are you doing to me? Why??? Don't stain
me...please...tell me you won't...why do you hurt me? But my mind fades...I don't see
anything...only me and you...and I am no more Shaina...and you are no more Aiolia...we
are part of the nature now... and I wish I didn't have to come back to the brutal
reality...Please...let's not come back...please let's stay here...will you stay with me here?
I am not worth anything anymore...you have taken the last wealth away from me...it's
leaving me in the shape of a trail of blood...and you haven't asked me if you could...and I
haven't said no...I could have screamed...I could have ordered you to stop...but I
didn't...because I am tainted...rock me now...take me with you...wherever you are
taking me tonight...I cannot do anything but grab you...you are in charge...I cannot
escape...finish me! I am not worth anything...
You are worth so much and you don't know it instead....I am a beast...see? I am a beast!
I keep thrusting into her...groaning...she holds me tight...I move my head to kiss her... "Tell
me you do not wish me to stop...please..."
"I don't...I don't...I wont' tell you that..."
She is taking my thrusts without crying anymore...at times passing her hands through my hair...
"Pethi mou...pethi mou...koukla mou..." I murmur totally out of my mind...she caresses my
curls and I hear her little cries...always more intense...always more clear...until my own self
melts in a wave of frenzied delight...the lion roars...he has had his share of power! He has had
the best part...! The lion is a coward...the gazelle can't escape him...the eagle can! And the
lion takes the gazelle...and stains her white chest with her own blood...
I let myself fall over her, crying out loud...the last thing I feel it's her fingers still stroking
my hair...her hands caressing my back...and a tear coming down her cheek right on mine...
